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10 Most Annoying Things Men Do In Bed

Sometimes you can be with someone and all the stars align and you have mind blowing Samantha Jones-like sex. Itís incredible. Sometimes you donít.

Sometimes sex is so awful youíre like, ďBro. WHAT are you doing!?Ē Sometimes guys are so annoying in bed you wish it were appropriate to text your girlfriends during the act to tell them exactly what he is doing. As a blogger, I live for those times. Not because I love bad sex (I donít), but because they make a great story.

Over here at CollegeCandy we got to thinking about the annoying things boys ALWAYS seem to do in bed. So here they are:

1) Asking If It Was Good
What do you want me to say? Like, no one in their right mind is going to say, "Actually, yeah. That was not good. Sorry." At the most they'll direct you during to make it better, but no one is going to answer that question with a "No." So stop asking.

2) Saying "Oops!" When the Condom Breaks
This is a big deal. This should not be treated lightly. Do not make this a joke.

3) Spanking
Not all spanking, but if it's so loud everyone can hear it's just a little embarrassing. Most of us have roommates, we have to keep it down. I don't want to walk out of my bedroom and have my roomies tell me they could hear me having sex. That's awkward.

4) Trying To Go For Anal
That's an exit, not an entrance, so don't try and slip it in there. It hurts.

5) Not Telling You If They've Finished
Humans are conditioned to expect a reward after a task. So our reward is pleasing you. We like knowing that you had a good time, and if you finish and don't tell us we're just kind of confused. On top of that, if we're going down on you and you don't even let us know we're about to get a bunch of stuff in our mouth, it's rude and surprising.

6) Porn Star Moves
Look, I'm not Jenna Jameson. I'm not trying to be Jenna Jameson. My legs do NOT go behind my head. It feels weird. It looks weird. And I'm stuck wondering if I'm the only girl that is not this flexible.

7) Inappropriate Amount of Tongue
I hate, hate, hate it when guys are using too much tongue in a certain area. It's like; I'm not an ice cream cone. Come on now.

8) Farting
I've had guyís dutch oven me on more than one occasion. Like what's that about? Are you twelve?

9) Talking Too Much
If you stop sexing me up to ask me how my day at work was, I will be irritated. If you start giving me a play-by-play of what you're doing, I will be irritated. If you feel like you're talking more than kissing, I will be irritated. It's like, shut up. I'm trying to enjoy this.

10) Watching TV
I think it's appalling that this is even on the list. If I'm doing work, you better be too. Turn off freaking ESPN or Family Guy. Sex should not be that boring.